Overwhelmed and Thankful

I know I haven’t talked about about our adoption on our blog. That shouldn’t surprise anyone… because I haven’t talked about anything on our blog. I simply haven’t blogged. It’s because we’ve been busy, and I’ve been overwhelmed. But today I really want to talk about our adoption. Today is a new chapter in our adoption story, and I really just want to tell everyone.  So here goes (please don’t read too closely, because I am not even going to proof read this before I hit publish)….

On November 9, 2009 I wrote this post about not being able to have more kids naturally. Ever since then Brent and I began to feel the adoption seed growing in our hearts, and it became more and more clear that this is what God had planned for us. We sent off for our very first adoption application. It didn’t take long before we heard back from the agency. Unfortunately, it wasn’t the news we wanted to hear. They explained in the letter that there would need to be extra research due to the Leukemia. The part we focused on was that they said that we could be told no or asked to wait a couple years. After reading this, we gave ourselves time. Time to grieve the option of having more kids naturally. Time to get Brent’s health under control. Time to be a family of 4 before worrying about being a family of 5. Quite honestly… after being told that we couldn’t have more kids naturally, I simply couldn’t take being told no to adoption, too. Brent and I each struggled with this (without really knowing that we were doing this), and God was faithful and protected us. In fact, that’s part of why I didn’t blog about it. I felt like if I just didn’t talk about it, and if I didn’t send in our application… well then I couldn’t be told no. I felt like that made me in control. Well, God had another plan. He put people in our lives that have adopted or that have a heart for adoption, and He used them to make it very clear to us what His plan was for our family.

Well, finally on February 6, 2012 we completed our adoption application and sent it off. It was a leap of faith, and we were ready to make it. In only one short week, we heard back from the agency. We had been approved to move to the next step in the process. Since that time we have completed our home study and our profile books. In fact, just today a box arrived at our agency in Blue Earth, MN (New Horizon Adoption Agency). It included 5 copies of our profile book, a thumb drive with pictures to put on their website and our next payment.

What does that mean? We are officially a waiting family. They will now start showing our books to birthmothers.

I am overwhelmed.

Every since last Sunday, Mother’s Day, my heart has been so heavy just thinking about the amazing person who will give birth to a child and then, for whatever reason, will give that child to us. I watched a youtube video yesterday (link) about birthmothers and adoption. I just can’t get it out of my head. They talked about how they didn’t give up the baby because they didn’t want to be a mom, but they made that choice because of their great, great love for their child. So today, I am so overwhelmed. I’m overwhelmed that God has put us on this path, and that someday we (hopefully) will get to meet the person that will give us their child, the exact child that God has picked for our family. I’m overwhelmed and extremely thankful to be walking this path.