Monday, November 9, 2009

Focusing on the Good News

Hey everyone. I just wanted to update everyone on what’s going on with Brent. November 5th marked the one year anniversary of the day that Brent was diagnosed with Leukemia. I will never forget that day. I will never forget how calm we were as Dr Van Es spoke those words, “I think it could be Leukemia. I’m waiting for a call back from Dr Wender”. There we sat. Feeling slightly… numb.

I am happy to say that after one year and many blood tests, dr’s appts, bone marrow tests, tears and smiles… Brent is CANCER FREE! Amazing, right? God has always been and continues to be SO GOOD! Who ever thought we would be saying these words after only one year? I must admit… I didn’t think it.

We got this great news at Brent’s appt with Dr Wender, which was Wednesday, November 4th. We got there, they did the normal blood work, nurse consult, etc. Then it was time to meet with Dr Wender. He came in, sat on the chair all weird like he always does and told us that Brent’s counts from the bone marrow test he had on 10/30 all looked great. There was still no evidence of the Philadelphia chromosome (in other words, there was no Leukemia). At this point, I was feeling good. So, I started asking questions. I asked what the game plan was from here on out. What was he watching for? What would tell him when it was OK to take Brent off the pills? That is when we got some shocking news, and I suddenly remembered all to well the way you can go from good to numb in the matter of a few words.

“Brent will be on these pills for life.”

What? Excuse me? From this point on, I’m pretty sure I mumbled like an idiot. This was all of a sudden becoming very real to me. So the questions continued. Listed below are the questions we asked and the answers we received.

 

THE STUDY BRENT IS ON IS AN 8 YEAR STUDY… DO WE PAY FOR EVERYTHING AFTER THAT 8 YEARS.

Yes. (This may seem like an unimportant question, but the pills alone are about $1500/month (before insurance – Sorry Interstates).

 

WHAT HAPPENS IF BRENT GOES OFF THE PILLS?

The odds are not good. 1 in 4 people will relapse.

 

WE WERE TOLD THAT WE SHOULDN’T HAVE CHILDREN WHILE BRENT IS ON THESE PILLS. IS THAT CORRECT?

Yes, that is correct. There is no research to say that the pills wouldn’t affect the fetus (or baby, as I like to call it). If you really wanted to have another child, Brent could go off the pills for a while and then go back on.

(That would be a nice option, but once Brent stops taking the pills he would be off the study. We would then have to pay for the pills when he went back on them. Even more than that, I’m not willing to compromise Brent’s health! I would then end up with a sick husband and 3 children. Nope, I’ll keep the healthy husband and two kids.)

 

This was a lot of information to take in. To be very honest, I’m still struggling with it. I know what many of you are thinking. “At least you have two healthy children.” And that is so very true! But you are talking to someone that LOVES being pregnant. I love everything about it (OK, maybe not EVERYTHING, but you know what I mean). I love the bond that is built between a mother and child. I love that Brent is the best husband ever and would take such good care of me. I loved feeling the boys kick and hiccup. I loved hearing the heartbeat.

Who knows what God has in plan for us. There are obviously other options. Maybe God will lead us to adopt. Or maybe He wants us to be content with the two children we have. I thank God every day for my 3 boys (Brent, Karter and Brody), and I’m not about to stop. This was just news that takes some time to process and accept. I’m still a little numb.

I want to leave you all with a verse that I found today. It is on my my daily calendar, and it showed up on a blog that I follow, too. Enjoy…

 

I pray that Christ will be more and more at home in your hearts, living within you, as you trust in Him. May your roots go down deep into the soil of God’s marvelous love; and may you be able to feel and understand, as all God’s children should, how long, how wide, how deep and how high His love really is… And so at last you will be filled up with God Himself.

Ephesians 3:17-19

1 comment:

ldwolf said...

Praising God first for the good news! Then praying to Him to bring you peace regarding the future. I can so relate to you on the pregnancy/children issue- I would give anything to feel that little life inside of me just one more time but have come to realize that may not be the plan God had for me and I am just so thankful for the beautiful child He did bless us with. There are definitely other options out there to expand your family but that is a decision only you guys can make. Praying for your family in the good days and the bad days :) Take care!